there are some words
that
if you never say, they will hinder everything else.

you might say:
could you please pass the salt?
while those unspoken words are lingering in the air.
and so
even if someone passes the salt
and you salt your dish
it would not taste as salty as you want it to be.
'cause all the tastes
and all the scents
and all the sights
and all the touches
are now under the shade of the unspoken words.
'cause now
you are...
gone.

and no one knows that you are gone. 

when she speaks

on church street

11/09/2011

When I first arrived USA two and a half years ago there were two lines, B and Q, from here to Manhattan. B line was express. So it wasn't a big deal to live far in Brooklyn. Then MTA took charge and announced that B line would not be running express for the upcoming 2 years.

Unfortunately too sick to go out to take a picture of B train, so I just googled one. Here's the source: http://brandonjulien.blogspot.com/2011/04/weekday-service-changes.html 

I remember standing on the platform and reading the post. I told to myself: "Fine! B will start running express right after I leave USA".

Time has passed. 3rd of October arrived. Supposedly I was going to be back in Istanbul. But I'm still here, living far in Brooklyn and B is express again.

I don't know how those two and a half year has passed? Time is more express than B train and 35 minutes is still too slow for me to commute Manhattan every single day.

Human beings' lifes are full of paradoxes. How come 2 and a half year could pass faster than a 35 minute travel?

***

Life is short, moments are not.

sometimes i feel all i see is just a canvas. people. places. rooms. animals. trees. i feel i can tear off the scene and finally get in touch with the reality beyond it.

this world is too complicated for me.

i am a prisoner

of

the language i use.

all the things i want.

all the things i buy.

all the dreams that i dream but don't dare to make them come true.

i am a prisoner

of

myself.

need a breakthrough.

any leads?

it doesn't matter

if you travel there

or

here

or

far away...

if you travel with the same baggage...

well,

as i said.

it doesn't matter.

recycle my life please.